One of the first decisions any couple will have to make is whether to pool assets or maintain financial independence and keep separate accounts.
While situations like second marriages, previous holdings or bad financial habits may warrant the division of money, most financial planners believe a new couple should have a joint account.
"The benefit of a joint account is that both people get all of the information, so that is very beneficial," said Adriane Berg, financial expert, elder attorney and founder of Generation Bold. "Both should be watching carefully and both should be sharing responsibility so it is much easier in a joint account. It informs everybody of what is going on."
To allow a certain amount of flexibility, however, experts also suggest small separate accounts or regular allowances to take care of lunches at work, small discretionary purchases or gifts for your significant other.
"Money is a very emotional issue and trying to make financial decisions about every little purchase can cause a lot of friction in a relationship," said Nathan Gehring, certified financial planner and owner of Couples Financial Planning & Coaching, LLC. "Having that pot of money for this situation takes that concern away."
Getting married is a big step, but personal compatibility may be only part of the equation. Being a financial match can be equally as important, yet many couples do not ask the necessary questions to be sure they're on the same page when it comes to money. Having those conversations about money---accounts, investing, retirement---will help you build your financial future together.
The Talk-
Keeping the lines of communication open is important to any relationship---especially marriage. While love would seem to be the overriding factor in the success of a marriage, it can prove to be a weak player when the subject turns to one of the biggest obstacles to marital bliss: Money.
Financial hardships can hit any loving couple and be particularly difficult if they haven't taken the time before saying "I do" to know on which side of the dollar they stand.
"Really, the place you begin as a young couple is what the other expects of you and what you expect of your partner and coming to an agreement on what your financial partnership looks like," said Nathan Gehring, certified financial planner and owner of Appleton, Wisconsin-based Couples Financial Planning & Coaching, LLC.
It's the business side of the plan---and in many ways, the boring side---that helps to lay the foundation on which you will build your future.
"You are going to create your own lifestyle and those necessities you thought were important---eating out, shopping in certain places---may not be necessary at all," said elder attorney and financial expert Adriane Berg, author of "Financial Planning for Couples." "If you set the tone early, you will make much better choices."
If you've picked a china pattern but have yet to decide who's handling the checking account, you may want to slow down, sit down and have that chat.
Whether it is a series of talks or one longer conversation, it is important to discuss your basic philosophy of money and how that has shaped your life. You don't want to dream of owning your own home only to find your prospective spouse is ideologically opposed to property.
"One of the biggest pitfalls is not understanding one another's beliefs around money and about money history," Gehring said. "We've all grown up learning certain lessons about money ... and that is where a lot of friction, a lot of difficulty comes in for partners."
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